Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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