I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
