he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
