Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
