But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
