end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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