No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
