i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
