Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
