he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize