OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
