I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I will pee on everything he values.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
