He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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