Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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