Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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