Me too!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
