entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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