so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
