Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
