im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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