well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
