man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
