I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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