it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
