Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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