Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
