her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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