420 ftw
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
