you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
