I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
