I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
