The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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