He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
