gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
