I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
