you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
