so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
