Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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