You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
