I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
