took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
