Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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