dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
