In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
