My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
