brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize