Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
