the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
