They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
