hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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