omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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