ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
