Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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