How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
