is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
