"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
