i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
