the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
