I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
