not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
