So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
