Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
