I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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