Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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